So, perhaps that\u2019s a bit of a misleading title.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m not suggesting that you can remove yourself from baby\u2019s bedtime routine altogether. Even if you could somehow say to your child, \u201cAlright. It\u2019s almost bedtime. Go have a bath, brush your teeth, get into your PJs, read yourself a story and tuck yourself in. Mommy will be out here watching The Bachelor with a glass of wine if you need me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Even if we could <\/em>pull that off, I don\u2019t know a single mother that would actually enjoy <\/em>removing themselves from the routine. (Well, maybe once a week.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n Truth be told, I loved putting my kids to bed. Watching them play in the bath, getting them dressed in their warm, fuzzy pajamas, cuddling and reading stories, I wouldn\u2019t trade that for all the wine and trash TV in the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But the issue that I see with most parents whose babies won\u2019t sleep through the night takes place after <\/em>their little one gets into bed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Specifically, the problem stems from a parent getting in bed with their child in order to get them to fall asleep, and here\u2019s why\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n When you crawl into bed with your little one, they will almost always want to cuddle up to you in some manner. Even if it\u2019s just the slightest touch, they rely on the sensation of feeling you next to them in order to soothe themselves to sleep.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The problem with this arrangement is that babies, like their adult counterparts, don\u2019t just fall asleep and stay asleep for eight or ten hours. We all sleep in cycles, which transition from a stage of light sleep to one of deep sleep, and back again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When adults wake from one of these cycles, we typically don\u2019t even remember it happening the next day, because we\u2019re barely awake for a minute or two before we fall back to sleep. We can do that easily because we\u2019re good at it. We know how to get back to sleep on our own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But if baby is accustomed to falling asleep next to a parent, with the reassuring ability to reach out and touch that parent, then what are they supposed to do when they wake up after a sleep cycle and that parent is nowhere to be found?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Well, as I\u2019m sure every parent knows, when a baby wants their parents, they cry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n They cry until a parent shows up and gets back into that familiar spot, which baby recognizes as a cue to go to sleep.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So that\u2019s the reason why you\u2019ll so often hear parents utter some twist on the old line, \u201cMy baby absolutely won\u2019t go to sleep without me next to her.\u201d It\u2019s not because they need the reassurance that they\u2019re safe, or that your presence is necessarily calming to them, it\u2019s just part of their routine that they follow to get to sleep.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So what\u2019s the solution?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Well, you could co-sleep, so your baby can reach out and touch you every time she wakes up, but if you\u2019re reading this, I\u2019m guessing you\u2019ve already given that a go, and found it\u2019s not the utopian solution you had hoped for.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A couple of late-night kicks in the face, or a perpetually writhing baby with her fingers in your eye can cause a quick change in plans for a lot of parents who thought co-sleeping would solve their nighttime woes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Or, and this suggestion comes with a much higher recommendation, you can let them learn some independent sleep skills which they can call on anytime they wake up, in order to get back to sleep all on their own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I know that might sound like a tall order for a baby, but I\u2019m not suggesting anything too challenging, and you\u2019ll be surprised at how quickly they adapt to new strategies for getting to sleep. Stroking a lovey, chewing on a blanket, or even just playing with their own fingers and toes can be effective little methods for making the transition into sleep, and the best part is, they can be done anytime baby wakes up, whatever time of the day or night.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I\u2019m not suggesting that you can remove yourself from baby\u2019s bedtime routine altogether. Even if we could do it, I don\u2019t know any parent who would enjoy removing themselves from the routine. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1116,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[120],"tags":[90,15,92,93,49,14,91,16],"class_list":["post-1115","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-children","tag-bedtimeroutine","tag-childrensleep","tag-lacchiappasonno","tag-nightwakings","tag-pediatricsleepconsultant","tag-sleepconsulting","tag-sleepprop","tag-tiredparents"],"yoast_head":"\n