Here we are! Your baby is born and you are happy.
You have prepared yourself, you studied everything and nothing can go wrong, right? Wrong!
It doesn’t matter how much you have prepared but nothing will prepare you for the uniqueness of what is going to happen. Whether it’s your first or fourth time, once we become parents and mothers we suddenly have this new person in the picture who comes with his/her own character and opinions.
Your expectations, as realistic as they might be, probably won’t be met and you will have to deal with hormones and a body that will have to produce (if not milk, energy) whilst healing.
For me, when I listen to you talking about your children’s sleep struggles, one of the most important question to ask is: “how are YOU doing?”.
You pause, I can see your shoulders lower, your lips trembling, the tears finding their way and all I would like to do is hug you. I remember it, I remember it well. The need to use all your remaining strength in hiding that you are not feeling well, that you are tired, angry, disappointed, that you feel inadequate, judged, unable, not worthy.
That’s the thing, being a mother, and a parent, is hard. It’s beautiful, it’s important and gratifying, but it’s also super hard. We live in a society where that tends to isolate people and the last year and a half have increased this tendency. But children, they are brought up by the village, the community. Children are brought up by your friend who stay with them while you shower or sleep or eat, by grandparents who do the laundry, mother’s groups where they mix with other children on a mat and you just don’t have to look at them. Your neighbors, your cousins…
This is why in a time like this parents’ and mother’s health are so much more important than before. And let me tell you, a mother who doesn’t sleep well is a mother who will struggle.
Sleeping well is as fundamental for our children as it is for us, and let me tell you a secret: even if your child sleeps 12 hours per night and takes all the necessary naps, a parent’s life is also made of running around and feeling tired.
I will tell you more, if in your house live children who sleep the necessary time at night (yes, it is 11-12 hours), you will have the time to cook for him/her, sleep, shower, relax, read, take care of your body, do yoga, watch a movie, spend time with your partner, chat with a friend. I know it all sounds like a luxury right now, but these are basic moments of dedicated to taking care of yourself, your needs and your relationships.
And I will tell you even more, only by taking care of ourselves we will be able to be the best version of a good mom, and our children will learn about self-care by observing us.
Does all of this sound like a far away dream to you? Just give me a call or write to me and we will make it come true, together.
