Since I started this profession, there is one question that parents ask me more than others: “Why doesn’t my child sleep?”
Having a child who rests badly or little is truly tiring and, in time, can lead
a couple to doubt their parenting skills. However, the reason why children don’t sleep isn’t the inability of their parents don’t know how to facilitate their relaxation or because they behave inadequately, and can easily be adjusted.
In this article I will explain the most frequent reasons why a child doesn’t sleep or rest well enough. Yet, I will not dwell on those causes which give way to “regressions” or temporary sleeping difficulties, such as moving to solid food, teething, arising of new physical or cognitive skills, illness, or physical discomfort.
Sommario
It is in my child’s nature to not sleep?
First, though, I want to specify something important: just as it’s wrong for parents to feel uncapable when their child doesn’t sleep, it is equally unfair to blame the child’s personality. I very often hear this phrase: “My child simply doesn’t like sleeping”. But there are no children who intentionally decide not to sleep: children have a physiological need for resting. If they have difficulties in achieving this, it doesn’t depend on their personality and the reasons should be found elsewhere. Let’s see together what the most common causes are.
1. Lack of a sleeping routine
A main reason for which a child doesn’t sleep could be the lack of a clearly defined bedtime routine. By routine we mean a pattern of actions to be carried out in the same way every day, with which the child is led to the moment of night time, that informs them that bedtime has arrived.
2. Lack of a regular daily routine
Children don’t have the concept of time passing, thus it is important for them that their days are articulated in a more or less similar way. Indeed, this regulates their sleep-wake patterns, which is crucial if we want to help our children sleep well.
3. Excessive tiredness
A child who doesn’t sleep well may be too tired. This may seem like a paradox, but it is true. When tired a child’s body starts producing cortisol (the stress hormone) and the child will therefore find it harder to fall asleep. Cortisol will very likely disturb their sleep, causing awakenings and agitation.
4. Inability to self-soothe
Another reason for which a child doesn’t sleep could be the inability to self-soothe In this case, it is important that the parents help the child to gradually acquire this skill, with patience and trusting them. The child will gradually learn to fall asleep independently and sleep peacefully.
5. Lack of fresh air
One of the reasons for which children don’t sleep well is if they spend too much time indoors. Instead, taking a walk outside every day is very useful, as being exposed to sunlight, and it contributes to the production of serotonin, a hormone that regulates mood and sleep.
6. An incorrect sleeping hygiene
Before going to sleep, it is better for children not to be exposed to electronic devices. TV, tablet and smartphone lights have an impact on the production of melatonin, the sleep hormone, and practically “awake” the brain.
7. Inadequate sleeping space
To encourage children’s nighttime sleep, organising an adequate sleeping space is important. It is important for this space to be completely dark (light absence favours the production of melatonin), to have the right temperature (between 18 and 21 degrees Celsius) and to not be too noisy (if needed it is possible to use white noise, which favours relaxation).
My child doesn’t sleep due to sleeping disorders
There are also different situations in which children don’t sleep much or well due to actual sleeping disorders. The most frequent disorders are insomnia and night pavor, which can be caused by nocturnal respiratory difficulty issues. In these cases, parents should approach the situation with a specialist, who will indicate the best approach.
In the other cases, instead, I suggest that you read this other article in my blog in which I write about what to do when a child doesn’t sleep or else to contact me directly.
